New York, Dating and Speakeasies with “We Met At Acme” Host Lindsey Metselaar
Photo: @lindzmetz
What if thousands of people were listening in on you confiding in your best friend for relationship advice after a heartbreak? Lindsey Metselaar, host of hit podcast We Met at Acme, knows the feeling.
The first episode of the now-chart-topping podcast is a recording of a raw and honest conversation between Lindsey, known as @lindzmetz on Instagram, and one of her friends that she ended up posting publicly. The podcast grew into the mecca of dating, relationship, and sex advice for all twenty-somethings in New York. Whether you’re actually listening to episode of the podcast or voting on the infamous insta-story polls on the podcast account, you’re sure to get answers to any relationship questions you may have.
After getting the chance to chat with Lindsey on the phone, it’s easy to tell how she comes across so genuinely on the podcast. Because that’s really how she is! It felt like chatting with a friend, which is essentially what the entire We Met at Acme brand is.
When asked about advice on dating just out of college, Lindsey was sure to emphasize this new era of dating us 22/23-year-olds are entering.
“College dating is so different from real-life dating. So, where there were kind of no rules when it came to dating in college, I feel like things kind of change a little bit when you’re in the real world. Let someone court you. Make sure they take you out on dates, that they are respectful to you and they make an effort. I feel like, in college, it just happens. But, in the real world, it’s more important for them to make an actual, concerted effort. Make sure you’re not just hanging out with someone on a first date. Make sure they actually take you out and they try.”
Going on planned dates is definitely ideal over the drunken bar run-ins of college. But, what’s the perfect first-date vibe? Lindsey definitely recommends speakeasies.
“The best first date spots are downtown. It does depend on where you live, because you don't want to go too far. There are some really great speakeasies in the city. There’s one called Angel’s Share, which I feel is like the go-to date spot. It looks like a normal place when you walk in, but you go through this secret entry and it’s different and cool and underground and there’s graffiti. There are cool spots like that, then there are plain romantic spots like Dante in the West Village. The speakeasies are definitely always a hit, and those just plain romantic spots where everyone’s on a date are great.”
But, because of the current pandemic, dates are pretty much only stemming from dating apps. But, Lindsey does have some advice about where to look out for potential partners IRL.
“The best places to meet people during the pandemic, other than on dating apps, would be going out to dinner and being friendly with the table nearby. Post-pandemic, obviously Acme is a great place to meet if it ever opens again. Also, just going to that ‘thing’ that your friend wants to drag you to that you’re hesitant about is always the story that I hear. Like, ‘Oh, I didn’t want to go to this thing, but I went to this thing…’ Just being a ‘yes person’ and going to these things you normally wouldn’t go to or do is always a good idea because I feel like that’s always when you meet someone.”
On the We Met at Acme Instagram account, Lindsey posts many polls per day, as a sort of survey. Lots of these are situational questions, like “You’re texting someone cute from a dating app and they send funny voice notes/videos of them talking. Green flag or red flag?” As for where these questions come from, Lindsey says most are sent in by listeners of the podcast.
“Most of them are from followers, but then, every now and then, I’ll get inspired by either something in my personal life with my partner, or sometimes when people send in polls, I’ll think of other questions based on that. For the most part the polls are from our listeners, which is really cool.”
In addition to just posting polls, Lindsey also replies to lots of DMs on the WMAC account, offering her perspectives and advice to people with specific relationship issues or questions. But, who does Lindsey go to for advice? She says she sticks to close friends and professionals.
“Tinx gives really good advice. She’s definitely got a really good head on her shoulders. I think the best advice is from guests who are professionals when it comes to advice. My therapist was on the podcast, and even I’ll go back and listen to that episode because she’s just so insightful. A lot of the dating coaches that came on gave really good advice, too. It’s hard because there’s so much advice circulating out there, you have to do what’s best for you. We had the author of The Rules book on the podcast. The Rules is kind of an outdated book from the 1990s about the rules of dating, and a lot of people take this advice very seriously still. But, a lot of people do their own thing. So, I think the best person to listen to is the person who has what you want. For example, if they have a relationship you look up to, then I would look for their advice. But, don’t look to your friend who’s in a toxic relationship for advice.”
In addition to being an expert on relationships, Lindsey is also an expert on all things New York. When asked about advice for those thinking about moving to the city, she has nothing but support.
“There is no better time to move to New York than now. Rent is so much cheaper than it would be, and I think that, again, going back to being a ‘yes person,’ don’t be afraid to meet new people, and go to places where you don’t know anyone. Try to be in a location where you can walk everywhere. There is no better time to move to the city than now. The city is such an amazing place to shape your twenties. I honestly think, just do it, then figure it out later. Even if you don’t have a job, if you can somehow get something together and be in the city, that’s the best place to be.”
For those living in or moving to New York, or anyone going through the trials and tribulations of dating, Lindsey and her podcast are like a survival guide. In addition to We Met at Acme, Lindsey is an entrepreneur with a social media company, Lindsey’s Lunchbox. She has so much knowledge on so many topics, and when asked for any additional life advice, Lindsey said this:
“I feel like I say it all the time, but if you’re confused about how they feel about you, take that as a sign they’re not interested. Also, just put yourself first, especially in your twenties, whether that means working on your mental health, or following your dream career path. Too often, especially as women, we focus on, ‘am I going to find the person I’m going to marry?’ and we forget to do the really essential work on ourselves. So, put that first.”
Be sure to follow Lindsey on Instagram at @wemetatacme, @lindseyslunchbox, and @lindmetz
Visit www.wemetatacme.com to listen to the podcast and much more!