It’s De-cuffing Season: Don’t Worry, We’re Here For You
With social distancing guidelines still in place, and the summer season upon us, it’s safe to say that we’re officially in de-cuffing season. Yup, it’s that time of year when relationships fade and the love you thought would last ends up a flop. If you’ve found yourself single again and feeling like you want to eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, I’m here to say: don’t worry, I have your back… and yes, go ahead and eat the dang ice cream. But ladies, fear not these dreaded breakups, because I’m about to tell you why they can (because they really can!) be a transformative experience for you this summer.
First Things First: Know That You Are Not Alone.
A study for The Rosie Project (via her.ie), shows that the average woman will go through an average of seven relationships in her life. Now think of all the women you’ve ever met in your life- classmates, professors, parents, aunts, friends- even the strongest and most empowered women go through heartbreak and still manage to come out an even better version of themselves. So, before totally freaking out and resorting to crying alone in your room (because we all know that’s just no fun), just talk to someone. Odds are, they will know what you are going through, and you’ll end up feeling more understood than you ever thought you were. Sometimes you may even end up bonding with someone, swapping out that short term relationship for a life-long friend. And if you don’t feel like talking, there’s tons of podcasts about dealing with heartbreak that can help you feel a little less lonely. Try The Bounce Back Podcast with Laura Yates, and Terrible, thanks for asking. It happens to the best of us. People come and people go. But you are never alone in your journey.
Photo: Laurayates.org
Photo: @Ttfapodcast Instagram
Now That That’s Sorted Out: Notice the Doors That Open For You!
Once you become the number one priority in your life, you start to see doors opening for you left and right- I’m serious about this! All of a sudden your time is freed up, and you actually DO have time to take on that internship, and you CAN plan an impulsive girls trip across the country, and you WILL meet other, incredibly interesting people. And, hey, what the heck, you SHOULD dye your hair that color you always wanted. When I had a long distance boyfriend, I didn’t realize how detached I was from my immediate community until we broke up. Being able to focus my energy on my present surroundings made me feel more comfortable in my own environment and opened doors for me to be more involved than I would have otherwise been. So, what I’m saying is: get out your planner that he always made fun of, and book the things you always wanted to do but never had the time- hiking a mountain, hosting a book club meeting, taking a road trip to Alaska- whatever rocks your socks.
Photo: @Whystarsfall Instagram
Don’t know where to start? I recommend journaling and making lists of the things that bring you joy in life, and the things that you’ve always wanted to do. Remember these lists and journal entries should be focused on you and not your past relationships. Bonus: Keep up the journaling habit to document your personal growth.
When your emotional blockage- which, in this case, is your toxic relationship or breakup- is put behind you, you will be amazed at all of the opportunities that are suddenly visible that weren’t before. This is one of the only times in your life that is dedicated to your own self creation and betterment- so focus on yourself for once!
Finally, Don’t Forget to Remember: It’s Always a Learning Experience!
Losing someone in a breakup does not mean that you lose any part of yourself. Know that within you, there is a much greater purpose. Oftentimes, we think our significant other is the only one keeping us from falling apart. Well, let me tell you- sometimes what you think is keeping you together is actually just holding you down. So, take this experience. Own it, feel it, learn from it, create something amazing because of it, and finally, grow out of it! Just do anything but fear it.
<3, Corinne