Happy Valentine’s Day to ME: 7 Ways to Show Yourself Some Love
Have you ever heard the saying, “you can’t really love someone until you fully love yourself”? The truth behind this statement is life changing. I am by no means an expert on this topic, but I do have some experience in struggling with insecurities, placing your happiness in other people, and being my own biggest critic.
Photo: Pinterest
It’s human nature to be hard on yourself, to set unrealistic standards, and to let yourself down. We expect a lot from ourselves and don’t forgive ourselves like we should. What does it mean to truly love yourself? Without being vain, or cocky, or too self-obsessed? There is a healthy balance between being conceited and having compassion for yourself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to be a little self-obsessed sometimes. If you are really feeling a sweater you just bought, then take all the selfies in it and own your confidence! But is that self-love? No. Self-love is showing the same kind of empathy to yourself as you would to your best friend. Self-love is acknowledging you’re not perfect, but working everyday to be better than you were yesterday. If your best friend came to you crying because she failed out of school, would you tell her that she’s pathetic and everyone was right about her all along? I really don’t think so. You would probably comfort her, remind her that she is smart and capable of anything she sets her mind to. You would probably help her find a solution to get back on her feet and build the life she’s dreamed of. Now think of yourself in that situation. Would you tell yourself that you can do anything you set your mind to? Chances are, you would probably feel pretty down about yourself. You’d replay all the times you could’ve made a change but didn’t. You wouldn’t empathize. This type of coping mechanism can be helpful, so that you don’t repeat the mistakes, but it can also be hurtful because it can prevent you from ever trying again. So, how do you effectively practice self-love?
Find your strengths.
Very cliché, I know. But do you know how important it is to know what you’re good at? There is definitely a list of things you’re good at that just come naturally. Pay attention to those, as they may end up playing a bigger role in your life than you think. Take some time to write down five of your top strengths right now.
Acknowledge your past mistakes.
Sometimes it’s easier to act like the past never happened. Most of us would just like to forget about it and move on. This can wear heavy on the heart, making it harder for you to truly love yourself. In order to accept who you are, you have to acknowledge everything that got you to where you are. Whether it was self-inflicted, or pain caused by someone else, you need to deal with it and grow from it. Not only will this make you mentally stronger, but it’ll also bring you peace in knowing that you can move forward without anything holding you back.
Track your habits, cut out the ones you don’t like.
Do you have a long list of pet peeves? There are just some things that annoy us and we’ll never understand why. It’s easy to pick out things about other people that annoy us, but what are some things you do that annoy you? Be honest here, we all have little things that we do without even really realizing we’re doing them. For me, I bite the inside of my cheek nonstop. It’s not something I would ever notice anyone else doing, but it bothers me to no end! It’s also been a really hard habit to kick. I don’t like sitting still, so I resort to doing that whenever I’m at work or watching Netflix or even cooking. But, if you can conquer something as small as that, it will give you the confidence boost you need to tackle other bad habits in your life. Take some time right now to write down what habits you want to get rid of, and what you can replace them with.
Find a hobby that highlights your strengths.
Finding your strengths is a crucial element to loving yourself. Once you find what you’re good at, start doing more of it. For example, if you find you’re good at writing, consider starting a blog. If you’re crafty and creative, make some gifts for your friends and family! Hobbies can be so rewarding, and while you’re digging deeper into your passions, you’ll start to fall more in love with the person you are.
Cheer on other women.
It is so easy to compare ourselves to everyone we see, either on the internet, at the mall, on a TV show, etc. “I’m not as skinny as her,” “Her skin is way clearer than mine,” “Why can’t I be that pretty?” We were not made to be the same. This is a hard concept to grasp, so read it again. Every single one of us was made uniquely, so why would you waste your time comparing yourself to someone who is working on their self-love just like you. Beauty comes in every shape, every color, every size, every person. Once you start rooting for others to discover true self-love, you’ll start to see a change in the way you view yourself.
Make the changes you want.
Have you ever thought to yourself that you can literally do anything you want? If you want to lose weight, you have everything you need. If you want a different job, the opportunities are out there. If you hate where you live, you can move. The only thing we really struggle with is discipline. Sure, you can go to the gym four days a week but if you don’t discipline yourself into eating better and actually getting good workouts in, you won’t see your desired results. Yeah, you might want a different job, but what if you’re not qualified for a job you want? Self-discipline and research will get you there. I am 100% talking to myself as I type this. I struggle with sticking to my goals and often lose sight if I don’t see results soon enough. So, here are some tips to help keep yourself motivated and on track:
Write down the changes you want (goals)
Grab a pen and a paper. List the changes you want to make, then explain how you’ll make them.
Be very specific. Don’t just write I want to go to the gym 4x a week. Why do you want to go to the gym? What benefits will going to the gym give you? How will you make sure you stay on top of this goal?
Stick with short-term. If you write out huge goals, it can be very overwhelming, preventing you from starting in the first place. Start small and have specific deadlines for when you want these changes done by.
Give yourself room to grow. Chances are, the first week you start working towards your goals will be a little messy. That’s okay - you need to find what works best for you. So, allow yourself time to adjust to your new routine. Are you able to wake up an hour early to work on your qualifications for the new job you want? Or are you at work early and would rather spend time researching before bed? It’s all trial-and-error, and don’t get down when you can’t get it right on the first couple of tries. It will get easier!
Love your body, mind, and soul.
Going back to my previous statement, we were not made to be the same. How cool is that? Nobody else on this planet has the same body, mind, or soul as you! That freckle on your face that you can’t stand - no one else has that same exact freckle, so celebrate your uniqueness! You were made to be YOU, not some photoshopped model you see on Instagram. Celebrate all that you are, because you are exactly who you were meant to be. This isn’t an excuse to stay where you are if you’re not happy with that, it’s just important to love yourself through the journey. You got this!
The path to true self-love is a never-ending challenge. There will be days you aren’t ‘feeling yourself’ and there will be days when you woke up like this #flawless, but don’t ever give up. In the end, all you have is you, so make sure you prioritize this relationship.
Photo: Pinterest